You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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