I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's rum buckets o'clock
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
