she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
