I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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