So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Terrible idea I love it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
