I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Who wears a wallet chain?!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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