Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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