hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
