You're a womanizer and a bitch.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize