Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
