He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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