you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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