You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
