Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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