She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
