CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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