I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
