Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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