hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
