Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
