I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
