Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
