Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
