Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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