You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
should my penis look like a turkey
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
