i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she pinky promised me she was 18
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize