Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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