my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
