you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize