R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You have to summon your inner elephant
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
