I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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