its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
