last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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