Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
