I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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