I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I CAN MOONWALK!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Drunk is a universal language darling
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