Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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