I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
