We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
