am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
