shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
