I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
