it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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