i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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