So drunk, too bad you don't want this
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
