Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
