I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
