just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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