You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
