I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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