dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
