i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
