I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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