tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
