I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
