We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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