I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
