Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize