All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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