Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't deserve a penis
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
