it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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