i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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