i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
