Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
