i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Such a big mess for such a small penis
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
