How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
