i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i now understand why vodka
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
