Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
