Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
