If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
