does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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