carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
