We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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