In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
