well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
