I'm eating all of the evidence.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
