So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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