I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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