I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
