I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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