Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
