Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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