She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
